Insults
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.
If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first.
I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.
Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.
Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...
I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?
God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.
Come-Backs
(Why are you so anti-social?)
I am not anti-social.. I just don't like you
(Ha, your fat!)
I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!
(Your a waste of space!)
Well, Earth is full. Go home!
(Haha, Your so fat!)
Real mature...
(FATTY!!!)
I never told you this but, Your so fat, the only thing stopping you from McDonald's is the doors! Who's the fatty now?
(Your Ugly!)
And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...
(I've just come back from the Beauticians)
Pity it was closed...
Sarcasm Quotes
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
Paul Newman
“It's a catastrophic success.”
Stephen Bishop
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
Abba Eban
“No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.”
Groucho Marx
“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.”
Groucho Marx
“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”
Groucho Marx
“A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.”
Groucho Marx
“Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!”
Groucho Marx
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
Groucho Marx
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
Groucho Marx
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
Groucho Marx
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
Groucho Marx
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
Groucho Marx
By,
Trist
